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By Marie Harrison

For the Clemmons Courier

I think one of the greatest blessings I have had in my life has been the gift of friends who are just one step ahead of me in the parenting journey.

As a first-time mom, I was so grateful for the moms of school-age children who could talk me through sleep training an infant, or potty training a toddler, or share wisdom on area preschools, etc. Having someone who had already been through all the same things offer their guidance and suggestions was such a huge relief and help.

As my children have grown, I continue to be grateful to all the moms giving me advice on what I need to know for each new stage I encounter, like navigating life with a teenage driver or sending a child off to college. There is truly no way I could do this parenting thing without lots of help from many “next step friends,” and when I can, I try to be that same voice of wisdom for the younger moms I meet, to provide the same gentle guidance and suggestions that helped me get through all those long days and nights with a brand new baby.

And this week, as my daughter traveled to Maryland to participate in a clinical trial testing a new drug for her disease, Friedreich’s Ataxia, she got the chance to experience firsthand what it’s like to be that voice of wisdom and guidance for someone else. Shortly after my daughter’s diagnosis, her one request was to find friends with FA who could understand and relate on levels we, her parents, never could.

It took a while, but once we found two young ladies, both slightly older than my daughter, her prayers were answered. These new friends could talk my daughter through what it was like going to high school and college, what going out with friends looked like given a wheelchair and the fatigue that comes with the disease. These friends helped my daughter to think through the “next steps,” gave her wisdom on what to look for as she begins her college search, provided comfort and a listening ear when things got tough and helped my daughter feel like she was not alone.

Imagine my daughter’s surprise to find that at the clinical trial, there just happened to be another young lady present for the week as well who also had FA. Traveling from Minnesota, Claire had never met anyone with FA before. A few years younger than my daughter, she was so excited and so eager to finally talk with someone who “really understood.” And for her part, my daughter jumped right into the role of mentor. Providing encouragement, giving advice, serving as a sounding board, in all the same ways her “next step friends” had supported her.

With lots of time to just sit and chat while doctors observe and monitor for drug reactions, my daughter and her new friend, Claire, have found many things to do to pass the time. They’ve painted rocks together, had a movie marathon complete with popcorn, made friendship bracelets and exchanged telephone numbers. Hearing of all the adventures they’ve had in just a few short days, it is easy to see that a lifelong friendship has only just begun.

While I’m not in Maryland with my daughter, my husband passed along my contact information to Claire’s mom, and I’ve done my best to be her “next step” friend. I’ve been able to connect Claire’s mom with the parents’ group for our FA community, helped her find information on the latest research trials and what’s coming around the bend and tried to offer support and encouragement in the same ways other moms have done for me. It seems that no matter the stage we are in, we all need someone just one step ahead to help us navigate our current situations.

And I think that’s one of the reasons why the writer of Hebrews encouraged us all to “not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing. but encouraging one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” In Hebrews 10:25, it’s clear that we are supposed to live in community, we are supposed to be meeting and fellowshipping with one another, we are supposed to be encouraging and lifting one another up, we are supposed to have and to be that “next step” friend.

While some of us may be introverts and others extroverts, regardless of our natural inclinations or preferences, God wants us to live together, using what knowledge we have to help and guide others, in parenting, in life, and most importantly, into a saving faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. Because as it turns out, Jesus is the best “next step” friend any of us could ever have, He conquered death and sin and invites us to follow in His footsteps, to the home He’s made just for us in heaven, a place where we can live in full community with others, forever.